Just thought I should give a brief background. Sometimes blogs are hard to follow if you don't quite know everyone and where they fit.
My name is Kim and I have 4 children. Three daughters, 23, 22, and 13 going on 30, (like the movie) one son, 17. Two younger daughters live here and my son lives a couple miles away with his dad. My oldest is in an apt with friends. You obviously gathered that I am divorced and remarried. I waited 12 years to remarry and I am glad that I did. I was in no rush to jump in again.
My first three children's father and I amicably split up. At least that is what I thought. My youngest daughter's father and I were together for about 5 years, but never married.
My son was 13.5 when he moved in with his dad and although I am sure there were ulterior motives on his father's part (mainly child support), I did not want to put him through a huge custody battle. It really broke my heart, but he is not far away and his dad is not a deadbeat or anything so...I guess that fathers are good parents too! (Besides, I was in the midst of two teenage girls and their dad didn't really help me deal with that, so I figured he can give it a shot. Just so happens my son is so easy going-no comparison)
My current husband is 9.5 yrs younger than me with no children. He didn't want any and that was OK. At first I didn't believe him. I figured one day he would. Nothing yet, that I know of anyway. He loves my children dearly as if they were his. That is, unless we have a problem, then they are mine, but all in all, he is a good step dad. He has been with my children for 8 years. That's about as long as I was married the first time!
We have a dog too, a Lhasa Apso named Max. I gotta tell you, I used to love animals when I was younger. I wanted to own and run a chimpanzee farm! I did not take in to consideration the clean up and maintenance. Whew. Almost like having a kid. Some things are easier such as; leaving a bowl of the same stuff out once a day, they don't argue, ('course they don't always listen to you either) and um...well...I guess that is all I can think of at the moment on the easier side. On the same level; even when they grow up the care is still the same, you have to pick up their poop forever, they bark for nothing, they don't pick up anything except fleas, you have to pay to get them groomed (at least with a Lhasa), and when they aren't outside playing and goofing off they are inside laying around. Hmmm, why would any mom want a dog? I might as well as had another kid! But anyway, I let them talk me into one. Silly me, buying the 'ole "but mom you won't have to do anything, we will do it all!" And I bought it and the dog. Enough about that, it's embarrassing. You would think I would know all the pitfalls.
There is always tomorrow.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Things I hear from moms of toddlers...
This is funny, being the mom of adolescents and early twenties (whom are really not much more than adolescents in my book) listening to the comments from moms of young ones.
Me: Well, I have to get going, Taylor has a project to complete and she needs to go to her friends to complete it.
Them: What?!!! If my kids were going somewhere, I woulda left along time ago!
Me: Well, yeah, but it is to the point where, believe it or not, I am begging for her to stay home.
Them: Pfffttt, I doubt that will ever happen. I just want to pee in private--once.
Them: How did you ever do it with 4? I can't handle the two I have?
Me: I don't know. I drank alot? Not really, you just can't believe how fast time goes and all of a sudden you are at their graduation. Really. Maybe I was just on auto pilot.
Them: You're right. I don't believe it.
Them: Geez, you got your 13 year old a phone? I will NOT do that!! What does a 13 year old need a phone for?
I don't even argue that one because about a year ago, I agreed. Now, I have a fit if she doesn't have it on or doesn't answer it.
Them: I don't give my child any sugar at all. I don't want her to be fat. I don't want her to develop a taste for it.
Once again, the comment stays in my head. There are just some things that people have to learn themselves. Really, unless you will be homeschooling, they sell the stuff in the hallways. Good Luck. But, I guess the longer you keep them off it the less they have had it--makes sense. Plus, note the "child". When you only have one it is easy to stay on track. I think anyway. By the time my 4th (or could have been my third) came along, I didn't sterilize the pacifier when it fell on the floor at Target, I wiped it off on my pants and popped it back in. Crazy, huh?
There are many more and I will add them occasionally. It is funny to think that I once thought those thoughts.
Me: Well, I have to get going, Taylor has a project to complete and she needs to go to her friends to complete it.
Them: What?!!! If my kids were going somewhere, I woulda left along time ago!
Me: Well, yeah, but it is to the point where, believe it or not, I am begging for her to stay home.
Them: Pfffttt, I doubt that will ever happen. I just want to pee in private--once.
Them: How did you ever do it with 4? I can't handle the two I have?
Me: I don't know. I drank alot? Not really, you just can't believe how fast time goes and all of a sudden you are at their graduation. Really. Maybe I was just on auto pilot.
Them: You're right. I don't believe it.
Them: Geez, you got your 13 year old a phone? I will NOT do that!! What does a 13 year old need a phone for?
I don't even argue that one because about a year ago, I agreed. Now, I have a fit if she doesn't have it on or doesn't answer it.
Them: I don't give my child any sugar at all. I don't want her to be fat. I don't want her to develop a taste for it.
Once again, the comment stays in my head. There are just some things that people have to learn themselves. Really, unless you will be homeschooling, they sell the stuff in the hallways. Good Luck. But, I guess the longer you keep them off it the less they have had it--makes sense. Plus, note the "child". When you only have one it is easy to stay on track. I think anyway. By the time my 4th (or could have been my third) came along, I didn't sterilize the pacifier when it fell on the floor at Target, I wiped it off on my pants and popped it back in. Crazy, huh?
There are many more and I will add them occasionally. It is funny to think that I once thought those thoughts.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Birds and the bees...
So, my daughter and I drove out to my MIL's house for a kiddie Halloween party yesterday. The drive would take about 45 minutes to an hour. Nice alone time with the youngest, I thought. As I was tooling along, I realized that it was relatively silent. I mean, there was the radio playing softly, but no teenage jabber going on. When I was thinking "alone time", I didn't mean her over there with her iPod plugged in and me listening to the radio. I was kind of hoping for some interaction. You know, mom to daughter conversation. Apparently, daughter had different ideas.
Well, I needed to change that, so I decided to take the opportunity to start a discussion of sex. Yep, it was probably a couple years overdue, even though I didn't want to believe it. The experts (who?) say kids know more than we think they do at a young age. I wanted to be the responsible parent and let her know she could talk to me about it now, not when it was too late. I don't really remember how I approached this with my two older daughters (yep, memory lapses). I would have to go by my gut...
Conversation went like this:
Me, loudly at first to get over the iPod: SO, I WAS THINKING THAT MAYBE WE SHOULD DISCUSS THE BIRDS AND THE BEES.
Her: Huh? What birds and bees, mom? (maybe that was only when I was young)
Me: You know--sex.
Her: Oh. Well, mom, we already did that for the last 3 years in school. I'm good.
Me: Yeah, I know but the way they talk about it in school is much different than how it is talked about on the streets with friends and computers and things.
Her: Like...
Me (OK, here goes): Well, for one I am sure that when you learned it in school, they spoke of menstruation, intercourse, vagina's, and penises, and I highly doubt that is how it is referred to between friends and such. Right? (Whew)
Her: Hehe. Yeah, you're right. But we know what it means. I'm good, mom.
Me, (this is NOT going to end this soon): Well, I just want you to know that if you have any questions, you do not have to be embarrassed to ask me. I know that you kids today have at you disposal so many different ways of hearing, seeing, reading and watching things that have to do with sex. And, they are sometimes blown out of proportion, like people add stuff and make it look like that is how it is supposed to be but it is usually not.
Her: OK, mom. I am not embarrassed. It just isn't a big thing in my world right now and by the way, I am not going to even have sex until I get married.
Me: That's what I thought. But, next year on the way to grama's, let's recap this, ok?
Her: Whatev.
And just like that the iPod was cranked back up. Only took about 20 minutes, if that. So, I did a little bonding there. I'll take it.
Well, I needed to change that, so I decided to take the opportunity to start a discussion of sex. Yep, it was probably a couple years overdue, even though I didn't want to believe it. The experts (who?) say kids know more than we think they do at a young age. I wanted to be the responsible parent and let her know she could talk to me about it now, not when it was too late. I don't really remember how I approached this with my two older daughters (yep, memory lapses). I would have to go by my gut...
Conversation went like this:
Me, loudly at first to get over the iPod: SO, I WAS THINKING THAT MAYBE WE SHOULD DISCUSS THE BIRDS AND THE BEES.
Her: Huh? What birds and bees, mom? (maybe that was only when I was young)
Me: You know--sex.
Her: Oh. Well, mom, we already did that for the last 3 years in school. I'm good.
Me: Yeah, I know but the way they talk about it in school is much different than how it is talked about on the streets with friends and computers and things.
Her: Like...
Me (OK, here goes): Well, for one I am sure that when you learned it in school, they spoke of menstruation, intercourse, vagina's, and penises, and I highly doubt that is how it is referred to between friends and such. Right? (Whew)
Her: Hehe. Yeah, you're right. But we know what it means. I'm good, mom.
Me, (this is NOT going to end this soon): Well, I just want you to know that if you have any questions, you do not have to be embarrassed to ask me. I know that you kids today have at you disposal so many different ways of hearing, seeing, reading and watching things that have to do with sex. And, they are sometimes blown out of proportion, like people add stuff and make it look like that is how it is supposed to be but it is usually not.
Her: OK, mom. I am not embarrassed. It just isn't a big thing in my world right now and by the way, I am not going to even have sex until I get married.
Me: That's what I thought. But, next year on the way to grama's, let's recap this, ok?
Her: Whatev.
And just like that the iPod was cranked back up. Only took about 20 minutes, if that. So, I did a little bonding there. I'll take it.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Tinkerbell, anyone?...
OK, I have been dealing with Halloween for a LONG time. Either by myself as a kid or for my own kids. Yes, I have had fun, but I think I am over it. I kind of just want to sit back and watch everyone else do their thing. But, alas, I am not done yet. I still have my youngest. I keep wondering when she will be over it. I don't want to push it or be a Halloween Scrooge, but every year the prices soar and the costumes get skimpier. I wish I was crafty, but I did not inherit that gene. One of my sisters did. My mother made all our costumes and they were GOOD!
So, off to the Halloween store we went. She is 13 going on 20 and she wanted to be Snow White. I am thinking, "OK not bad, but I know it is going to cost an arm and a leg, but let's not dwell on that right now, it could be worse, she could want to be one of Hugh Hefner's Girls". Well, I don't know if you have been to a Halloween store lately, but besides the scary costumes, everything is about skimpy!!! Geez, when did that happen? Snow White no longer has a gown, it is a short skirt and fishnet thigh high stockings with a bow on them!!! Walt is turning in his grave, I know it!!! Tinkerbell is a sleaze. Alice looks like she found Wonderland alright. Cinderella, Jasmine, Belle-well they all look like they work for the local madame.
So, of course she has to try it on. Of course the line to try them on is longer than a ride at Cedar Point. But we wait. And wait. Finally, we get in there and she tries it on. Unfortunately, we didn't take more than one costume with us. I know better, really I do, but I was still in shock and not thinking logically. She didn't like it. OK. Good. Too low cut on top, too high cut on bottom. I hurry and usher her out and guide her to the witches, ghosts, and goblins. Nope. Not cutting it. She wants to be pretty. After covering the whole store a couple times, we decide on a Tinkerbell costume. Looks a little longer, is not low cut. It even comes with the wings! Bargain at almost 40 bucks. Right? We look back at the line to try it on and decide it will fit her so forget the line.
After waiting in another roller coaster line, we pay and the cashier says, "all sales are final". Uh oh. Something tells me we should have tried it on. Too late. We are going home.
Well, you guessed it. It did not fit. Too small. It is very form fitting and she doesn't like that. Neither do I, but I don't say anything. I feel awful about it. So...I think I will have to go to the fabric store and concoct a little skirt to go over it for a little coverage. Me, the non crafty one. Maybe I will have to call on my mom to help.
Funny thing is, after all this, it will probably be so cold that she will be all bundled up anyway.
I love Halloween.
Hope yours is great!!!!
So, off to the Halloween store we went. She is 13 going on 20 and she wanted to be Snow White. I am thinking, "OK not bad, but I know it is going to cost an arm and a leg, but let's not dwell on that right now, it could be worse, she could want to be one of Hugh Hefner's Girls". Well, I don't know if you have been to a Halloween store lately, but besides the scary costumes, everything is about skimpy!!! Geez, when did that happen? Snow White no longer has a gown, it is a short skirt and fishnet thigh high stockings with a bow on them!!! Walt is turning in his grave, I know it!!! Tinkerbell is a sleaze. Alice looks like she found Wonderland alright. Cinderella, Jasmine, Belle-well they all look like they work for the local madame.
So, of course she has to try it on. Of course the line to try them on is longer than a ride at Cedar Point. But we wait. And wait. Finally, we get in there and she tries it on. Unfortunately, we didn't take more than one costume with us. I know better, really I do, but I was still in shock and not thinking logically. She didn't like it. OK. Good. Too low cut on top, too high cut on bottom. I hurry and usher her out and guide her to the witches, ghosts, and goblins. Nope. Not cutting it. She wants to be pretty. After covering the whole store a couple times, we decide on a Tinkerbell costume. Looks a little longer, is not low cut. It even comes with the wings! Bargain at almost 40 bucks. Right? We look back at the line to try it on and decide it will fit her so forget the line.
After waiting in another roller coaster line, we pay and the cashier says, "all sales are final". Uh oh. Something tells me we should have tried it on. Too late. We are going home.
Well, you guessed it. It did not fit. Too small. It is very form fitting and she doesn't like that. Neither do I, but I don't say anything. I feel awful about it. So...I think I will have to go to the fabric store and concoct a little skirt to go over it for a little coverage. Me, the non crafty one. Maybe I will have to call on my mom to help.
Funny thing is, after all this, it will probably be so cold that she will be all bundled up anyway.
I love Halloween.
Hope yours is great!!!!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
"I can't wait 'til I drive, Mom!"
Oh, the wonderful words! Frankly, I couldn't wait either. I mean, I knew that I would be nervous for them. I knew that I would worry. We always worry. But, to ask someone else to run to the store for milk?! The joys! The freedom! HA! Once again, I was foolish.
Here is how this goes:
Me: Hey, hon would you mind running to the store for some milk? (Mind you the store is not in another country or even city, you can actually walk if you wanted to!)
Her: Awww, mom, I don't feel like it, really. Can you ask Allie?
Me: Well, I asked her last time, I just figured...
Her: Well if I go then she will get on the computer and I will never get it back!
Me: I will make sure you do.
Her: Never works, Mom-auh. (Ok, things are getting touchy when they add the "auh" on any word.
Me: Fine, whatever. What happened to the days when you couldn't wait to drive?
Her: That was when I couldn't.
Yep, so I still drive as much as I did before and now I have the extra burden of worrying about them when they do drive. See how that works?
Here is how this goes:
Me: Hey, hon would you mind running to the store for some milk? (Mind you the store is not in another country or even city, you can actually walk if you wanted to!)
Her: Awww, mom, I don't feel like it, really. Can you ask Allie?
Me: Well, I asked her last time, I just figured...
Her: Well if I go then she will get on the computer and I will never get it back!
Me: I will make sure you do.
Her: Never works, Mom-auh. (Ok, things are getting touchy when they add the "auh" on any word.
Me: Fine, whatever. What happened to the days when you couldn't wait to drive?
Her: That was when I couldn't.
Yep, so I still drive as much as I did before and now I have the extra burden of worrying about them when they do drive. See how that works?
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Boy was I wrong!
Wow, I can't believe that I ever uttered the words, "I can't wait until my kids get older. It has to be easier". Yep, I did. Many, many times. Don't get me wrong. I love my children and I always have. Right from the get go. But...as all parents know, there are definitely trying times. Doesn't matter how many you have either. Although, I longingly looked at parents with only one or even two and thought, "now that's the way to go". Seems that I may have looked into the actual causes of pregnancy, but nahhhh. Nope. I figured that my mom handled 5 of us smoothly, so I could handle 4 for sure. Now I wonder, did my mom handle it smoothly or did I just think she did. Let's face it, I was a kid. I was doing kid things. What did I know? Really. I thought I knew everything, HA!
I digress. As they got older, certain things did get easier. Like poopy butts, dirty faces, skinned knees...that kind of thing. What I didn't count on was "that time of the month", pierced faces, or tattoos on their skin. Not my kids. I mean, c'mon, I sent them to a Catholic school! I guess it didn't scare them. It was true what the other parents said. They said that I would regret ever thinking I wanted them to grow up. I didn't believe them. Wow, was I wrong. Sorry.
I digress. As they got older, certain things did get easier. Like poopy butts, dirty faces, skinned knees...that kind of thing. What I didn't count on was "that time of the month", pierced faces, or tattoos on their skin. Not my kids. I mean, c'mon, I sent them to a Catholic school! I guess it didn't scare them. It was true what the other parents said. They said that I would regret ever thinking I wanted them to grow up. I didn't believe them. Wow, was I wrong. Sorry.
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